"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities." --Voltaire

Friday, December 13, 2013

Paraprosdokians

PARAPROSDOKIANS, (Winston Churchill loved them), are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.



1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left...

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station.

11. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

12. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

13. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

14. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

15. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

16. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

17. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

18. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

19. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

20. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Thursday, October 31, 2013

OCD Nightmare


Monday, September 30, 2013

Friday, August 23, 2013

New Books!




Over 180 new titles have been added to the library collection over the summer, including:





Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Never forget . . .

Wednesday, February 6, 2013